just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
