No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
