Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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