I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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