If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
