I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
