the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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