idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
