Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
