i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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