i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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