Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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