Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
