it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
