what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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