My nipple is on Facebook.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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