It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
When are your genitals available?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
