Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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