I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
