Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Let's get the cat blown out
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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