we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
