he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
