Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
