You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
