I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
