im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
3 2 1 whiskey
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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