oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize