i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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