He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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