i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize