is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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