There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I need a burrito and a hug.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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