look no pants
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
