Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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