I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
