Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
