I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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