I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
