Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
