we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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