I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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