"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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