she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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