It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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