If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
