Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
