Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
