White coat. Heels.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
