So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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