Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
