Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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