i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
