Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
