Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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