Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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