Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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