We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
