Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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