I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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