Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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