I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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