Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My dick has a subreddit
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize