The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm passing your future prison.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
