You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
