i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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