Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
