I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Come see our sink grown plant.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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