are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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