Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
