I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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