Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Randomize
