Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
