You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
