its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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