I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
