Don't you send me to vm
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
