I bet he comes in French.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
