all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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